i've tried to do a little more poking around, but i haven't had any significant luck with this.
1) reboot this morning ('cause i still don't have the suspend/hibernate stuff configured right i think -- but that's a different subforum topic c: )
2) ethernet is not plugged in
3) rt. click on wifi icon in the system tray and select "configure wlan0".
my wifi network is present in the list of available networks (general tab). obtain IP automatically (DHCP) is not checked (i had checked this last night) (adv. tab). under the advanced tab, select DHCP option, click Apply, and Close
4) wifi icon changes color and bars to indicate it's associated itself with a network. i hover mouse over the wifi icon and a) no IP address b) i'm associated with the wrong network! (my network is first in the list). i right click on the wifi icon again and the DHCP setting isn't remembered (advanced tab). so i reset the DHCP setting and click Apply, and Close
5) rt. click on the wifi icon and select "Restart the Network". after waiting for a few minutes (~3 or so), i recheck IP (and try to ping my router) and the network still isn't working.
>>>> word to the Devs: the Please Wait message seems to stay on my screen until i make it go away. should this be automagic?
6) i reopen the Configure wlan0 dialog and, under the Advanced tab, try to uncheck the DHCP to manually assign an IP address. once the box is unticked, the IP and Netmask boxes stay grayed out and I can't enter any data in them.
7) i try logging out/in, but that doesn't seem to help.
8) i capitulate and plug in the ethernet cable. everything works in just a few seconds.
so... i'm confused. i'm sure i'm missing something, but it doesn't look like the wlan0 is paying attention to my list of preferred networks. it (wlan0 configuration) also doesn't seem to be remembering settings (selecting DHCP, and network prefs).
here's a little more info that might help:
rook% uname -ar
FreeBSD rook 9.0-RELEASE FreeBSD 9.0-RELEASE #3: Tue Dec 27 14:14:29 PST 2011
root@build9x64.pcbsd.org:/usr/obj/builds/amd64/pcbsd-build90/fbsd-source/9.0/sys/GENERIC amd64
i'm using a lenovo thinkpad x61. my network has a WPA-Personal psk. i like cats and long walks on the beach.
thanks for reading!

ps i'm going to try to grab some screenshots.